DIASPORA DIGEST #24

June 1998

Co-editors:

ddeditors@diasporadigest.org

Gael Stahl

(Ernest-1960 "Zeke")
Founder & Publisher

Jack Brennan

(Ternan-1960)
Webmeister


Issue DD23 ended Jan. 17 with Oriah Mountain Dreamer's "The Invitation." Due to requests for the whole piece, we start with that:

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstacy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of
being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bare the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes!"

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

[From Dreams of Desire, copyright 1995 by Oriah House. All Rights Reserved. Published by Mountain Dreaming, 300 Coxwell Avenue, Box 22546, Toronto, Ontario Canada, M4L 2A0. Oriah told a friend of Gael's that she a teacher and writer living in Toronto with two teenage sons. She asks that people use the original format of the poem when sharing it with others.

"While my family history includes stories of Scottish, German and Native American descent, I am a Canadian woman, and not an "Indian elder" as has sometimes been reported, being neither old enough nor wise enough to claim the status of "elder" for any people. I have had the privilege of studying with and learning from the wisdom of Native American elders who gave me the medicine name, Mountain Dreamer. My first book, 'Confessions of a Spiritual Thrillseeker', is currently out of print. [Gael's friends found it in a used book store.] I am now working on a book entitled 'The Invitation,' expanding on the thoughts and teachings held within this smaller piece. 'Dreams of Desire' is a small collection of poetry only available through Mountain Dreaming. Oriah Mountain Dreamer" - Her eddress is: oriah.house of utoronto.ca - You can find her on the Internet by looking up "The Invitation." There are about 10 web sites about this poem, but only one is by the author.]


21 Nov 97 Paul Langan: [Letter to Jack Brennan, misplaced, found]: I really lost touch with you since the late 60's. Also didn't know you were practicing as a psychotherapist since 73.

That was sorta basically what I fell into about the same time. When I turned 38 I more or less had a midlife crisis, I suppose. It just wasn't for me anymore even though I had an established private clinical practice in the Dallas Area. I really think it was the hot Texas summers. Every time one rolled around I would tell myself this was the last summer I would spend in Texas. Well I finally said yes, retired, bought a small trailer that I could tow with my Mercedes and headed for the Colorado mountains where I became a real hippie. My beard was almost covering my cleavage! I lived along a small mountain stream, read, fished, hiked and kept an extensive journal. My spiritual guides became apparent to me. There were times I swear they talked back to me. I was not on grass/weed as they say!

My message was it was OK not to have to take care of the whole world. A career change was good. I love airplanes, always have. It was with that in mind that I attended a Tech College to get trained as an Aircraft Mechanic. With that I was able to get a job with United Airlines as a mechanic in the San Francisco area. I found my niche, met Geri who is a Native Coast side Californian and settled in. I love being near the ocean. Besides, I can now truly say that all my X's are in Texas.

As I write there is a huge Pacific storm passing over. The ocean is loud, the waves are crashing against the rocks and I am enjoying every bit of it.

Nick Baxter and I have celebrated bi-annual reunions out here, as Tanna would say: 'on the West side,' for the past 11 years. Our next one will be July 4th, 1998. We wondered about making this an opportunity for those of us 'on the West side' to meet. What do you think, Jack? [Jack proceeded to tell him he was inviting the diaspora and other friars for the July 17-21 reunion.]

6 Jan 98 Juvenal Carlson: This is not e-mail. You won't believe it, but I've never seen an e-mail. January is the month of the camel. Where are the bloody camels in this recycled Christmas card? This letter is just a curiosity. Not of too much interest. I don't have any stamps to help pay for the postage of You-Know-What. Will you settle for a couple wee pictures? Grace, blessings, pax, et bonum, happiness, joy, and serenity for 1998. [I assure you the photos of Juvie with the sewing class girls and the one with the teenage boys are infinitely of more value than Brazilian stamps to DD.] In his form letter, Juvie says that he's working with the diocesan Street Children project: unwed young mothers, underprivileged children and adolescents who want to learn a trade, how read and write. Kids get substantial lunch. Another program involves one of the tough gangs that decided to go straight. It involves finding work for them. The boys got 25 other gang boys to come to a three-day retreat. They left smiling.

12 Jan 98 Jack Bartz [Jack is working on the 2000 gathering at Mayslake and sends this reprint for background.] By Lynn Van Matre, Tribune staff writer.

In the five years since the DuPage County Forest Preserve District acquired coal mogul Francis Peabody's 90-acre Oak Brook estate, local preservationists have struggled to raise enough cash to open the St. Paschal Friary on the grounds to the public.

Now the Forest Preserve District's patience may have run out with Atelier International, the volunteer group that had hoped to turn the sprawling friary on the Mayslake estate into a nonprofit arts education center.

Members of the Forest Preserve District's Operations Committee unanimously agreed last week to recommend termination of Atelier International's licensing agreement with the district after learning that heat and electricity at the friary were scheduled to be cut off because of overdue bills.

The full Forest Preserve Commission is to vote on the issue Tuesday at a special session after the regularly scheduled County Board meeting. Forest Preserve commissioners also sit as County Board members.

"Turning off the utilities would be a very bad situation for that beautiful old building," said Olivia Gow, chair of the Operations Committee. "That told us that Atelier was not in a position to live up to their agreement."

Steps have been taken to ensure that the heat and electricity remain on, Gow said. The group also has failed to submit a required improvement plan or pay a $25,000 security bond, according to Forest Pre-serve District executive director Dan Gooch.

Atelier, which signed an agreement with the district June 20, 1995, had one year from that date to file a plan to turn the building into a cultural center. The organization was also to pay the security bond immediately but had been granted an extension until Dec. 3, 1996.

Atelier chairman Lawrence Pucci said he thought the improvement plan had been submitted and the $25,000 bond paid. Pucci also said he didn't know that the utility bills had not been paid.

"I'm only the chairman of the Atelier. I'm not involved in the disbursement of money," Pucci said. According to Pucci, the organization's most recent board of directors meeting was held in November.

"I've been working for a number of years to get a cultural center established there," Pucci said. "It would be sad" to see (the group's agreement with the Forest Preserve District terminated). If the Forest Preserve Commission votes Tuesday to cancel the agreement, it is uncertain when a search would begin for another group to improve and operate the building, Forest Preserve District officials said.

Among other things, the friary needs a $300,000 sprinkler system to bring it up to code and allow for public access. When voters approved a $17.5 million bond issue in 1992, allowing the Forest Preserve District to buy the Mayslake estate to save it from development, commissioners made it clear that the district would provide no public funds to pay for renovating or operating the buildings.

The task of bringing the buildings at the estate on 31st Street, west of Illinois Highway 83, up to code and operating the sites was left to two private, non groups that signed licensing agreements with the Forest Preserve District.

The Mayslake Landmark Conservancy assumed responsibility for the historic Peabody Mansion, which was placed on the National Register of Historic Places in 1994. Atelier International assumed responsibility for the friary, which was hand-built in the 1950s by Franciscan monks who bought the Mayslake estate shortly after Peabody's death in 1922.

Last year, an Atelier International spokeswoman described the friary building as "98 percent ready to go, except for the sprinkler system."

The Forest Preserve District last month issued a special permit to the Special Events Committee of the St. Paschal Friary to allow the nonprofit group to open the building for a county wide Christmas Tree Walk that showcased 40 faux fir trees decorated by politicians, schools, businesses, civic groups and arts organizations.

Earlier in 1997, the friary was among the structures considered by forest preserve commissioners as an alternative site for a new district headquarters. Interest in the property plummeted when it was discovered that the building would have to be gutted and the rooms reconfigured to turn the property into office space.

Free-lance writer Deborah Kadin also contributed to this article.

15 Jan 98 Francis Roethli: Thanks, had seen a DD and was just wondering if maybe I had got left off the list or that maybe I was having some problems finding the Diaspora Digest. If Jack Brennan is working on the Internet version (DD23) I guess I will just have to have a little more patience.

My family is up in Santarem and I don't have that much to do here right now being alone and reading the DD would help fill in the time. Hopefully in about nine days from now I will be going to Santarem also and then there will be plenty going on to take care of my time.

18 Jan 98 John Miller: I think DD23 is a GREAT ISSUE! Now we just need to hear about your travels to Assisi, et al. [Humble Hans, I didn't realize I hadn't written about Assisi for DD yet. I've talked about it and wrote of the special glow of Umbria so much that I guess I never put it down in one place, because if I did, it would be for the friars. GS]

18 Jan 1998 Anton Braun: Saw Bob House and my sister at Christmas. They are getting along in the Wisconsin winter and it's a challenge for my sister. At the same time, she is devoted to Bob and gives him excellent care. Bob is still a generous person, but for some reason he has pulled back from life.

As for me, life goes on I'm getting more into woodworking; I've even given it some legitimate status with a name and a business card. It's called Specialized Woodworking. That's mainly for tax purposes and for some record of what's going out and what's coming in. I still have the practice in psychotherapy, which is the main income. I like the work and working with people and their problems. So I carry on with that.

22 Jan 98 Paul Langan: Thanks for the latest issue!

·  First, Jack, I look forward to that 'West Side' gathering.

·  Second, While 'Rat Singer' probably would not, I appreciate the First Amendment Rights you both have honored in this latest edition.

·  Third, at first I was going to just read it off my Computer screen then I decided to print it; all 43 pages!

23 Jan 98 (Good) Joe Smith: Thanks for DD and printing my comments on matters raised, not by me (what "diatribe"?!) but by friends and confreres, Tony L and Bob P. As to "nulla salus extra ecclesiam" - that old dinosaur of a statement comes from darkest post-Reformation times and has been discarded - so I've been informed - since Vat. II - and "ecclesia" is now regarded as the ecumenical church, not just the dear Mater RCC. Even regarding Judaism, JPII et al., have spoken of "Equal covenants," and rejecting the old "displacement" theologies)! But, as you imply, enough of these nettling matters!

I agree, the jokes, reminiscences, and camaraderie are important to us. But, as Jack Bartz and I tried several years ago to connect with the OFM Plan in sharing ministries, I do believe our relationships are not jeopardized by substantive issues and a little frank and open talk on matters that are wiggling under that big carpet and are just not going away any time soon. Let this end my contributions, however, in that category, at least for now. Let's hope that mature aggiornamento still can mean something as we cherish so many values and people from the past and move into a hopeful millennium of peace and justice for all, of openness and a bit more honesty and integrity also for relevant in situations of our scary times.

Peace and Love to one and all! [Joe also sent a handout from a Mensa meeting and one about the encyclopedia of phenomenology. Dr. F. Joseph Smith pioneered the phenomenology of music. The main point seems to be that music has to be heard even more than seen to be lived as a whole experience. - GS]

P.S. A footnote: With regard to homosexuality and homophobia, see Bill Carroll's book "Human Sexuality: New Direction in Catholic Thought", 1977 (quoting my own "Facets of Eros" Smith/Eng, 1972 - where biblical scholars remind us that homosexuality is 'our' term for what was actually part of 'the celebration of life' ("fertility rites" widespread in the Middle East, Asia, etc. for millennia!) in homage to the goddess of spring (the original Earth 'Mother'!) considered a threat to the patriarchal High God of Leviticus and of I Corinthians. For the latter, it was a matter not primarily of a springtime "sexfest (cf. Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring") but of "idolatry;" and such rites were seen a threat to the survival of the original tribes dedicated to Yahweh, the Great 'Father,' etc.

What subsequent Christian 'ethics' did to this speaks loads about its own otherworldly (and this-worldly) agenda and its clinical focus on poor gays. The old "De Sexto" and Tanquery (not the vodka!) elaborated quite an 'asexual antiworld' to the real one and took focus off Mother Nature and onto man's ambivalent (patriarchal) nature as a "problem." These books were really a kind of reverse pornography, telling us in embarrassing detail what not to do. There is further info on the Internet. Or just check out Bill's book.

Congrats to Julian Woods on his recent remarriage!!

[Y'all note that not a syllable was cut when Joe began talking about sex. - Were we taught all this that Joe mentions? Zach? Gil? Sylvano? Medard? - GS]

25 Jan 1998 Mark T Braun: Your citation (of Oriah) in the DD was very impressive. I would like to see the full article per your invitation. I agree with Chris Reuter's assessment of spirituality in formation. The thirst for God was not sated in the seminary. From time to time I am filled to satisfaction but not very frequently and never while in my comfort zone.

25 Jan 1998 Joan Lacoste (Gael's sister): Just read the first installment of three of your Diaspora Digest. I know so few of the people involved, but I do love reading it. They all sound like such wonderful people -- people you'd love to have for friends. (I do know Jack Brennan, however. A heart attack must be a scary event. I think I'd be afraid to go to bed.) As your friends share their thoughts, worries, frustrations, joys, it helps me realize that I share many of those same feelings. Now if I can keep the same "spirit" they/you seem to have, I'll feel like a success.

Two newsletters in one week! [My digest and sherlockian newsletters often follow each other closely. - GS] No wonder I haven't heard from you. But keep the jokes and stories coming. They brighten up the day!

26 Jan 98 Tom Lenz (whose Stachura-generated nickname is Wizard) sent letter and donation to the Digest: What a treat. I'm watching John Paul on TV inspire Cubans and reading the Digest on a cold January evening in Buffalo.

This Digest helps to put some lost pieces together - thanks. I'm sorry I lost touch with Ben Skonieczny. It was he who got me my first job after leaving CTU - as a social worker at Cleveland's Lutheran Medical Center where he also worked. Until we meet again, somewhere beyond the rainbow, we just don't know how we all have touched each other's lives and continue to do so.

Yes, do the Friars' 2000 reunion. If it's at Mayslake, all the better. I can bring some wrenches to help with installing the sprinkler system, some mortar to point the Portiuncula brick, or a shovel to work on the trails. I'll definitely bring my volleyball net and horseshoes.

A few faithful here were involved in the Come Home program and planted a seed last year that has grown into a sizeable group we call Crossroads. Its mission statement: A catholic community of single adults, 40 years and older, seeking to share diversified spiritual and social needs and blessings. We use church facilities free and do large group events like Mass/picnics and dances -- and small group activities like cards, cultural events, dining out, movies, prayer and service, travel, sports, etc. I'm the volleyball/biking coordinator. We play every Sunday.

I do landlording and home improvements by day and country dancing at night, although there are fewer dance halls now. Dancing is a great way to meet folks, especially women. I love it. It's like a sport for me rather than a mating ritual as some others would think. - Did Fr. Leonard say that?

In June 1997, I revisited Quincy for the wedding of Nurse Angel Bizek's daughter. Angel worked at Corpus Christi Chicago with other guests - Andy Knoell, Roy Hoffman, Jim Zangs, and Steve Laslo. OLA looked great and the trees really grew well in that lousy soil, after all. I didn't enjoy seeing the overgrown, weedy frog pond behind the Sem, however. Fr. Gentile, Charlie Vos, Dave Dauwalter, and I helped excavate and build it back in 1965. I also got on the College's alumni mailing list - something all the friar graduates ought to do.

After my experience with adult onset diabetes three years ago, I seem to be doing better - so get a check-up regularly. This was one of those times in my life I felt like I could have died. I didn't, so now it's on to another branch of the trail. Pax et Bonum.

27 Jan 97 Dan Cowboy Mazar: Just received the latest edition of the Digest. Am I glad that you have a sharp blue pencil. Tom Aldworth told me that he downloaded 50 pages through his computer. You and Jack Brennan must get paid by the word (that you delete). Both of you do exercise good judgment with your scalpels. Also keeps the postage down to a reasonable rate.

Well, I'm somewhat nonplussed by the kind words that Jim Sexton wrote. I'll only believe half of what he said - which half stay in pectore. Diz Sexton is such a fine host and has a wonderful take on things that it was thoroughly refreshing to spend time with him many years ago. Sounds like your time this past fall was wonderful also.

Now to a serious subject. Tarsicius Fischer is still in the hospital. His left arm and leg are useless. His voice is very weak but is mind is clear. We celebrated his 80th birthday this past Saturday (1/24/98). Balloons, cake, ice cream with candles. He truly enjoyed having a fuss made over him. I must say that he tires quickly and is distraught that he is missing the opera season. I have been going this year and so I can tease him after I see a performance. He smiles and does say that he misses the whole show.

It seems doubtful that he will be able to function as a priest again. We don't expect much of a recovery, so any improvement is a marvelous achievement. I try to visit him weekly and do my corporal work of charity. In fact, I told him that I'm working off my purgatory by visiting him. On the whole, his spirits have been good even though he cannot do much for himself. He thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. Will keep you abreast of developments as they occur.

I'm surprised at the number of TV critics in our amorphous bunch. God bless the couch potatoes. I, like Jerry Etzkorn, have been reading JJ (Lakers') book. I wrote JJ that there weren't enough pictures for me. I'm glad he has a sense of humor. This is a dense volume that forces you to read and reread. Let us hope that it gets a wide audience and gets marketed well. In this culture, we need all the ethical help we can get. I just wish that thinkers like JJ could be engaged with folks in other disciplines. I sure would like to attend that type of seminar. Gee we were lucky to have teachers like JJ, Jerry Etzkorn, Zachary Hayes, et al.

I have found Tony Frangella but am still looking for Steve Robbins. My best to you and Susan. Bop until you drop. Pax et bonum.

27 Jan 98: Jerry Etzkorn: Thanks for the latest DD#23. I doubt if you and Jack will ever know how much good you do by keeping us all together. I particularly admire Julian Woods for all he has suffered through and particularly what he STANDS FOR. Where is the official Church's apostolate to us married priests? We are the pariahs of Roman Catholicism. I thought marriage was a sacrament and not a crime! And the hypocritical hierarchy welcome convert priests from Anglicanism and Episcopalianism with much fanfare (and probably without asking about their motives for converting.). I met a really neat former Augustinian, who was ordained about the same time as I was, and he has been functioning as an Anglican priest for some years. Can't say that I blame him -- at least he's treated with respect.

Anyone interested in forming a global organization called "Power Addicts Anonymous?" The symptoms are: inability or unwillingness to consult with others; unwillingness or obvious discomfort in delegating responsibility to others; intolerance of opinions which differ from the one in power (let me know what could be added to the list). [Now that you ask, how about: making arbitrary male-centered rules? JB] This was brought home to me over the past few months, by a friar (former provincial) who may have all but dismantled the Scotus Project, which with the help of Fr. Romain Mailleux, OFM former Vicar General of the OFMs, was weaned away from the Scotus Commission in Rome (who would believe that they are the only ones who know how to do critical editions of John Duns Scotus).

The power addict fired my successor on the Scotus Project, ignored the National Endowment for the Humanities who have been funding the Ockham and Scotus Projects since 1973, and failed to provide a successor for the project director -- among other mismanagement blunders. Of course, he knows virtually nothing of what is required for doing responsible critical editions. We have it from the NEH that the research team at the Franciscan Institute has been regarded as a model for those undertaking editions of medieval texts. The future of the project is now in the hands of a review by the National Endowment for the Humanities. We probably need a novena to St. Jude! I really wonder if Catholic power addicts have ever noticed that Jesus shunned the power establishment, both religious and secular?

On a brighter note, our ordination class: Lambert Leykam, Gale White, Barry Schneider, Juvenal Carlson, Bob Pahler and (tho not ordained but a classmate) Paul Shields (and his wife Marilyn) and yours truly (with my wonderful Linda) are looking forward to our third class reunion this year during the last week in July at Dittmer, MO. Naturally, we miss Gratian Nosal who was a saint if there ever was one! Hope Dismas is still there: maybe he can interrupt the non-stop jokes of Paul Shields and Gale White. Paul gets his from all the Irish pubs he visits in the New York City area. I don't know where Gale gets his unlimited supply. Dismas used to get his from his world-wide travels, but I'd bet he's accumulating a store from the hill-billies of the Ozarks.

Allan Wolter is to receive the Aquinas Medal at the annual convention of the American Catholic Philosophical Association meeting in Pittsburgh in March. An honor long overdue. With a twinkle in his eye, he confided to me that he will be working away at getting Aquinas involved in his talk. Reminds me of one of the best profs I had in Louvain, Albert Dondyne, who avowed that he ought at least mention St. Thomas once during his course on "La Theologie Philosophique de Saint Thomas D'Aquin."

The members of the Holy Family had been awarded a vacation at any destination of each one's desire. The director asked Jesus where he wanted to go and he replied that he'd like to return to Egypt to see the pyramids and sphinx since he was so young when he first went there. When Joseph was asked, he said he'd like to return to Nazareth to see his old buddies and catch up on what had been going one. When Mary was asked, she said she'd like to go to Medjagorje since she'd never been there before.

[Great letter, Jerry. We'll be up to see you on Memorial Day weekend. We'll have a Tennessee convocation. Can't wait to see your new house. -- Those jerks killing the Scotus project. Is there anything anyone can do? - Gael]

28 Jan 98 Jim & Mary Zangs: Hi Gael, Just a note to thank you for the latest Diaspora. It is a wonderful thing that you do. Wanted to let Jack know also that the last e-mail version was the best yet- very readable. Hope all is good with you both.

28 Jan 98 Bill Cardy, ofm sends a hello from Alaska, asking for Tony Lutz's address. For those who'd like to write Tony: Anthony/Sue Lutz, (Rupert-1946) (703)281-0920, 9616 Percussion Way, Vienna, VA 22182-3334.

28 Jan 98 Marilyn Stahl (my sister the nun): Rec'd the DD yesterday and read it last night. I enjoyed Joanie's reaction to the DD. She's more kind than I as I'm critical of the two who never met a diatribe they didn't love. The conservatives in your readership must feel they are getting equal time. I am confused on Jack Brennan. I thought he was still a priest and was surprised to find that he has three youngsters. Time sure flies when you're having fun.

28 Jan 98 Jack Brennan: [To Gael Stahl] It's good to hear that people think I'm so good. (See the bumper sticker: "Dear God, please make me as good as my dog thinks I am.") I'm just a guy who tries to lead with his heart - a damaged one at that. My other talent is that I know how to hitch my wagon to good friends like you.

It is especially good to hear you say I am your best friend in our friary days. In case I never told you, I consider you my best friend. I will not forget those first three days at St. Joe's when I cried myself to sleep, literally. I felt so rejected until you came and asked me if I wanted to walk around the loop. (Then Klein asked me if I wanted to be his Mass-server partner.) Those were heart warming moments for me. You were always there; from the beginning when I was so lonely; in the Novitiate, when I wanted to leave because I was in love - you encouraged me to stay for six months; at Cleveland when they voted me out and you encouraged me to write to Dominic for one more year of temporary vows; in T-Town when you and Mooney and Kuhle invited me to join you on those treks to jail and the poor folks in the country side. Thanks for all that and more. Still feels like you are right next to me, doing the journey, coaching me. - Love.

28 Jan 98 Jack Brennan: Gael, seems worth sharing:

Life isn't about keeping score.
It's not about how many friends you have or how accepted you are.
Not about if you have plans this weekend or if you're alone.
It isn't about who you're dating, who you used to date,
How many people you've dated, or if you haven't been with anyone at all.
It isn't about who you have kissed. It's not about sex.
It isn't about who your family is or how much money they have or
What kind of car you drive.
Or where you are sent to school.
It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are.
Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on,
Or what kind of music you listen to.
It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, or brown or if your
Skin is too light or too dark.
Not about what grades you get, how smart you are,
How smart everybody else thinks you are,
Or how smart standardized tests say you are.
It's not about what clubs you're in or how good you are at "your" sport.
It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper and
Seeing who will "accept the written you."

LIFE JUST ISN'T.

But, life is about who you love and who you hurt.
It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposefully.
It's about keeping or betraying trust.
It's about friendship, used as a sanctity or a weapon.
It's about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening.
About starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip.
It's about what judgements you pass and why.
And who your judgements are spread to.
It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention.
It's about jealousy, fear , ignorance, and revenge.
It's about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow, and spreading it.
But most of all, it's about using your life to touch or poison other
People's hearts in such a way that could have never occurred alone.
Only you choose the way those hearts are affected, and those choices are
What life's all about.
(Author unknown)

28 Jan 98 Gene Katoski OFM sent the Senior Friars Talk and a note: I was pleased to see the DD in my mail, and I hurriedly sat down to read it through, cover to cover. I expected to see "GK has sent another issue of SFT" but I was not mentioned. Then I saw in mailing out the Feb. issue of SFT I had NOT mailed you a copy. I made sure that I sent you one, since it seem you Diasporas enjoy reading about your old profs. Hope all the Diasporas have a Great 1998. [Gene, I so enjoy the SFTs that I've been sending them to co-editor Jack Brennan - sometimes to other classmates. I did receive some copies, but not all, I guess. I didn't realize it was a monthly until the Jan-Feb issues came in rapid succession. Sometimes, in trying to get an 8-page digest out, I over 'digest.' But then, you never sent your "peg date" list. I'm begging. And we DO love hearing about our ole profs. You do a great job.- GS]

29 Jan 98 Bill Cardy: Hello from Alaska! Thanks so much for Tony's address. We have warmed to 15 below because of cloud cover that moved in from Siberia. Late January can be cruel up here. El Nino is apparently keeping us out of the -60 to -70 range this year. Pax et bonum.

30 Jan 98 Jerry Etzkorn: It's official: I just heard today that the National Endowment for the Humanities has decided to terminate the present grant on/about June 30. Until Carrozzo got there, the NEH considered our team a model for doing critical editions of medieval texts, and this guy has dismantled the project in the space of one year. On a brighter note, we'd love to have you come for a visit and stay a while. Please get back to us in April via the net and we'll give you directions. Had a great get together with Cowboy in Chicago at Zack's hoopla. All the best!

1 Feb 98 Scott Kuhle to Gael & Susan: I received the DD and enjoyed catching up on news from some brothers. I am doing well, keeping very busy doing work which I thoroughly enjoy. Still taking a lot of time to enjoy the mountains (by foot, bike, and hopefully skis this winter). Pax et Bonum.

To Jack & Gayle: Hello you all. We are still alive and ticking well down here in Pullman. Think of you each time I drive up 195 to Spokane (which is quite seldom if we can help it). Pax et Bonum. [Scott lives in the town where Washington State University students riot. About an hour from Spokane. JB]

1 Feb 98 Arnie Wieser: Back to our Latin, I'm glad to learn I at least got the gist of that Latin motto. [Arnie helped me translate the motto of a local college. JB]

Your investigation into the past assures me I was already gone from St. Joe's when you came. I lasted two years if memory serves me correctly -- never knew if I was a failure or whether they were just "shaping my future." Sorry I missed you! My life will never be entirely fulfilled! [O vos omnes! (Southern Latin I learned from Chuck Gunti) = Stop pulling my leg, y'all! JB]

2 Feb 98 Pam Kimlinger: I received DD23 and was able to read it. Thank you very much. I was able to open it on my old e-mail which was great. My son is back in Minnesota this evening. We were sad to see him go but he needed to get home to his family. Bill and I and the boys lived in Garden Grove from 1973-1978. I worked at Martin Luther Hospital in Anaheim and at Children's Hospital in Orange. We are going down to Anaheim for the Religious Ed Congress in two weeks. I enjoyed the time we spent down there. We could see the fireworks from Disneyland every night during the summer. The boys loved it. It's been a long day -- started at 5am. Peace.

4 Feb 1998 Jack Brennan: Dear Zeke, Got your package with the Tennessee Town & Cities (that you edit) and the Minor Matters from the province. You were right. I did love the comments of the QU students on Franciscanism and on Zach's paper.

I am quite impressed with your writing. I am especially stunned by the amount of writing you crank out for the TT&C. And then to have to edit it all on top of that. Next time, when you say that you are overwhelmed, I'll take you seriously.

As I read the Minor Matters I got the old pull going in my gut. Especially when I was trying to read it and my kids were fighting about whose turn it was to do the dishes. I sat with that pull until it went away. Somewhat. I am motivated to fire a note to Zach. I would like to see his paper to which they referred. Perhaps I could summarize it with his permission and publish the summary in the DD? I say "summary" because we didn't call him Gabby Hayes for nothing. And I bet he hasn't changed in that regard. I remember seeing him at Corpse at our 25th, but I only hugged him and said hello. Didn't converse with him at all; I don't think he went to the banquet after Mass.

[Jack did write to and get Zach's lengthy paper and enjoyed it. It was, alas, unsummarizable. Not having read JJ Lakers' book, but having read Zach's paper three times, I believe there may be some comparison. - Gael]

4 Feb 98 Zachary Hayes and Jack Brennan (click here for Zach's CTU page) Dear Zach, Gael Stahl sent me a copy of the November, 1997 issue of Minor Matters. I read with great interest the article: "That Others May Know and Love." Since your paper was not published there, I would love to get a copy of it.

I would love to read it and put a summary of it in the Diaspora Digest. I remember your classes in Dogma too. They were always so stimulating and up to date. I knew that you would become famous some day. Pax et Bonum.

Dear John: The title which you mentioned is the title not of a paper, but of a book. The sort of thing called in German a Festschrift. In essence this is a collection of essays written by colleagues to mark this point in my life and work. It is a publication of the Franciscan Institute at St. Bonaventure University. All in all, it was a remarkable celebration. But it is hard to believe I am already 65 years old. Best wishes, Zach.

Dear Zach, I did make the wrong reference. I was referring to a paper you wrote and sent to Ken Capalbo at QU. Apparently, it was about the role of spirituality in academics. A book about your work? I remember (and it IS hard to believe that you are 65; I think you were in your early 30s back in our day) when all you had was your degree and a raft of papers. That raft became a semi-truck by the time I left T-Town. I congratulate you! [If you are interested in the theology of ecumenism, ask Zach or me to send you a copy of his delightful lecture/article: "Christian Faith in the Context of the Academy," Quincy University, Oct. 16, 1997. Zach's email: or me JB]

6 Feb 98 Pam Kimlinger: We are in the middle of a big storm today. I didn't go down to work at UCSB -- they were getting walloped, too. Just a quick up-date on my husband, Mel. He decided he didn't want to have a bone marrow transplant and will probably go off the oral chemo, too. (It can cause leukemia.) He's feeing better right now and still working. He wants to go to New York to see a ballgame, so were are looking into getting a trip together either at Easter or July or August. Peace and Prayers.

7 Feb 1998 Jim Sexton: Gael, You really like good jokes, don't you. Humor seems to be part of you, like your arms or legs. A way of wading through life or louds with a clear head and heart, a bright eye, alive and open, always looking for some of the many little things that make days so different from each other.

I don't always understand well the jokes. Yet I appreciate their being there on the screen. It means you having a good time and that makes me happy.

Pascale says she's going to America this summer. Are you ready? She'll liven up your life. If you can find her a job to keep her busy I'll send her over to you. I'll rent you a piano and pay one trip to Nashville. [Pascale, 17, arrives June 8. We already have a piano. She will make it sing. Catherine, her mother, arrives three weeks later. A super friend. GS]

9 Feb 98 Ed Schludecker wrote to Jack Brennan: You don't know me. I am Andre's brother. (Do you know Andre Schludecker?) [Yes, of course. Andre was three years ahead of us. And now that I have some catologi I remember Ed too. JB] I was struck by the column you gave in the Diaspora, the quote was dated June 28, 1997. And your own ideas of July 2! I was in the Order for seventeen years, leaving in 1969. I look back upon it as some kind of a co-dependence. Not the fault of the Province. Not my fault. Both the Province and I were imperfect and had our flaws. As the person in your example does not really know the sunset; so I truly did not know myself nor the Province during those years.

I did not know how to pray until five years ago when I began to get closer to the priests in my parish. I have been seeing the pastor on a monthly basis since that time for spiritual direction. He has lead me in how to pray to Jesus the Man. How to listen to Jesus. How to listen to Jesus the Christ. How to be open to the Persons in the Trinity. During these years, I have gone into areas of my own soul that I have never gone to before.

New Year's Eve this year I toasted a group of friends - former priests and sisters - of some twenty-five years. I said, "What I missed tonight is the beginning of the Mass in Latin: Introibo ad altare Dei...' I will go unto the altar of God; to God who gives joy to my youth." At this time of my life I say, "I will go unto the altar of God whose Joy keeps me young." I can only say this after five years of daily prayer before Christ in the Eucharist and fasting and abstaining two days a week.

August 4 you write of your heart attack. I am sure this was frightening for everybody. What a trauma for your family and friends. Is there anything more fragile than life? Sept 8 you wrote of the heart singing rather than allowing intellectual preaching. Facing the difficulties your heart has given you, you - more than most - know that life is where the emotions are. And our emotions are where we truly live.

I like your quote of Jan 98. Can you mail me the entire quote of Oriah Mountain Dreamer?

Don't let my references to praying, fasting and abstaining throw you. The way I did these things in religious life is not the way I do them today. Today they open me and make me far more available to myself and my friends and family and people with whom I work. The Holy Spirit is working. And for Him I am deeply grateful. Very best to you.

13 Feb Jack Brennan: [Responding to Ed's heart-singing letter.] I started in 4th Class at St. Joe's in 1956 and I was ordained in 1966. We were three years behind Andre, if memory serves me. I think he was in Jim Tye's class, wasn't he? I loved the gentle openness of your brother. I think about him often. How is he doing and where is he? Next time you see him, give him my love.

Thank you for your many kind words. I think about a lot of those Latinisms too. I love the Mass in English, but when you know Latin as well as we had to, the warm nuances are often lost in the translation. When I write in the Diaspora and in the rest of my life, I try to let it all hang out. It's been sort of goal of mine to be that way. I'm not getting any younger at 62; so what have I got to lose? In truth, though, my words are reflections of the many people who have informed my adolescent wisdom.

16 Feb 98 Tony (Rup) Lutz: I enjoyed reading the January 1998 edition of the Digest. Even though I don't know some of the respondents, I still read their letters. Some are still trying to psychoanalyze their departure from the Order and from the active priesthood. I am much more ready for conversion if I admit to myself the truth that I left for one or more reasons such as a loss of faith, loss of morals, and/or loss of a prayer/spiritual life, or one could say I capitulated to the world, the flesh, and or the devil. [OK already, which was it? Or have you already told us?]

I sympathize with Fr. Medard's Catholic parish school situation. The underlying problem goes back to what kind of Church we have become. We Catholics no longer want many children, we don't want to or think we should not evangelize everyone within the parish boundaries, we no longer preach great doctrinal sermons nor have a strong catechetical parish program. The Faith has grown cold, and when the Faith has grown cold so does financial giving. The time is ripe for conversion or spiritual reformation.

I hope St. Peter's in Chicago always has round-the-clock confessions. I can remember the old St. Peter's where an aunt who lived with us had her Father confessor. There were always lines outside each confessional. Confessing our sins is so basic in our pursuit of holiness. It was at the old St. Pete's that Brother Tim became famous.

My friend, Joe Smith, obfuscates the issues of the Catholic homosexual group called "Dignity." There is a litmus test for determining membership in the Catholic Church. Either you believe all the teachings of the church Jesus founded or you do not. "Dignity" does not believe in all of the Church's teachings, and that is why the Church does not approve of this organization for homosexual Catholics.

Joe also has a very liberal view of ecumenism. His ideas can also be called "indifferentism." Even with the great efforts of the Catholic Church to be reunited with the Orthodox Eastern Churches, there is no question that the Church is not about to give up or water down its Primacy claims or that Christ made St. Peter and his successors the visible head of Christ's church on earth. It all comes down to revealed truth, and the authority Christ gave his church to define that truth for mankind's eternal salvation. St. Paul tells us to hold fast to the traditions handed down to us.

Also regrading Joe's comment on anti-semitism, it all depends on how one defines it. The definition of anti-semitism has become blurred. Recently, a Jewish professor at Hebrew University in Jerusalem was taken off a roster of speakers at a Smithsonian event. He was supposed to have made some anti-semitic remarks. His explanation was that remarks made by Jews inside Israel against the government are never interpreted as anti-semitic, but the same remarks made by Jews and non-Jews outside Israel are considered anti-semitic. Anti-semitism is a sin. To accuse the Catholic Church or a Catholic like Pat Buchanan of once having committed this sin or continuing in this sin, one ought to be precise in the facts and cite chapter and verse. This Joe has failed to do. The Catholic Church and Pat Buchanan have criticized the state of Israel. That does not make them anti-Semitic. I don't see anywhere in the "Catechism of the Catholic Church" that the church Christ founded teaches prejudice or hostility toward the Jews or Judaism.

Joe, it is generous to offer me a book to read about anti-Semitism in the New Testament, but everything must be understood in context. The wider context in which to read the New Testament is given in the "Catechism of the Catholic Church." Since the full Catholic faith was preached first, and out of this context, certain members of the early faith community wrote the NT scriptures, to understand these inspired scriptures you have to go back to the teaching of the Catholic Church in the first century or the 20th century. They are the same teaching. Where is the confusion?

Dear Julian Woods wanted to serve as a priest in his diocese. Then when the bishop did not answer his request, he got married in a civil ceremony. Julian's explanation that "love made him do it"? is not a fully satisfying explanation for me. I wish he would have drawn the lines more clearly in his "apologia pro vita sua."

Gael, you might not like argumentation, but God made man with intelligence to know the truth, and since we are not blessed with infused knowledge, the truly human way to discover truth is through argumentation. Remember the old saying: "Speech or writing is to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable." In this life, it does not pay off eternally to be too comfortable.

I was shocked to read that the province ordained only one cleric in 1997. When my class of 10 friars was received by Father Guardian Vincent Fochtman in 1946 at Our Lady of Angels House of Philosophy, he referred to us as a pusillus grex, because he thought we were such a small class. If older orders are dying out, it is because of lack of faithfulness to the teachings of the magisterium and the acceptance of a more worldly way of life. There are seminaries that are full and newly founded congregations that have many vocations. It all goes back to principles: orthodoxy and sound spiritual formation.

Joe Smith always seems to prod my fighting spirit. Maybe that is why I'm wearing a Notre Dame cap these days. When Joe states that relationships and private sexual acts are no one else's concern, I would remind him that he is being rather hard on the Communion of Saints, the Body of Christ, which is his church, and the solidarity of humankind before our creator God. God has revealed that he is extremely concerned with every thought, word, and deed of every human being, and not one iota will be passed over in the judgment. Joe should explain his sources for his peculiar statements.

In our troubled times, if any of you "inactive" want to support holy mother church you might join a new association started by a Vermont priest. Some of us consider CORPUS no longer democratic or conservative enough. You may want to write to: Standing with Peter, P.O. Box 2230, Brattleboro, Vermont 05303. The purpose is to form an association of inactive priests fully loyal to the Holy Father, the Holy Roman Catholic Church, and the magisterium. There are no dues.

[Tony brings to mind a phone conversation with Mike Mooney before Easter. Some research he was doing made him sound like Joe Smith: the gospel accounts about a midnight meeting of the Sanhedrin that couldn't have and never happened, etc. When we got together over Easter, we forgot to discuss it. GS]

21 Feb 98 Ed Schludecker wrote Jack Brennan: It was a surprise to get a reply so soon. I am grateful. I truly feel a kinship with what you say and how you say what you say.

I am glad you had your contact with Andre. And, yes, he was in the class with Jim Tye. He is pastor at St. Francis Xavier in Petoskey, Michigan. He is - and has been - doing well, the many years he has been there. The Province is pulling the parish, effective this summer. So Andre will be looking elsewhere to get involved. Currently, he is on a week's vacation in Orlando. I will send him your love.

My letter to you came from my soul to yours. It reflects my personal thoughts and feelings and was intended to be read by you in the silence and quiet of your own home. And it seems to me, that has happened. If you wish to extend it to the "Diaspora," I leave that decision up to you. It's OK with me at this point; my purpose has been achieved. Many names printed in the Digest, I recognize. And they are people I have respected, and do respect.

To move along - when I was a member of the Order, I had many thoughts and many feelings that I dared not express to anyone. Nor admit to myself. So addicted was I to my own defense. I was in such denial, and truly understood little about myself. Since 1986, I have had the Serenity Prayer and the Twelve Steps and weekly meetings to support me as I go through my pain.

During those years in religious life, my heart sincerely desired all that Francis desired as a young man. He had what it took to achieve his heart's desire. At that time, during those years, I did not. The Twelve Steps have been a path of maturity for me. For these Steps, I am most grateful. To turn my life and my will over to God, as I understand Him, satisfies my hunger; satisfies my thirst. It brings a wholeness I have never felt before.

I will pray daily for the people in the "Diaspora Digest." Many things are achieved by dialog. Many more things are achieved when the raw meat of naked souls of men and women come together for their being. Does "Diaspora" do retreats?

22 Feb 98 Gael to Paul Langan: I don't think I replied at the time, but thanks for your words. By First Amendment Rights, do you mean the argumentative stuff by Joe Smith and Tony Lutz? I never know where and how much to cut and so follow my instincts. Joe Smith and Tony Lutz could fill the issue if I were to mail them each other's stuff between editions so they could respond to each other more often.

They both get a share of favorable and unfavorable comments when people critique the digest. And I must admit, I enjoy seeing them all get their blood stirred up. And I did ask Pawell to reply to Joe on the Cardinal Bernadin vs the gays thing. So, who am I to complain?

Keep your ideas coming. And your stories. You have a gift there. The kind of mind that caroms off the canticle of the sun, moon, and the rest of creation. - Gael

22 Feb 98 Jack Bartz: The "Chicago Tribune" this Sunday (2-22-98) carried the following two news items.

DEATH NOTICES.

Fr. Tarsicius L. Fischer OFM, 80, of Chicago, a faculty and choir member of St. Joseph's Seminary, Westmont, IL. He served three years as Assistant Pastor of Sacred Heart Church, St. Paul, MN, and over 30 years as Confessor at St. Peter Church of Chicago (in the Loop). Survived by his sister Mrs. Vernida St. George and cousins. His body will be received at 3 pm with a wake service 7 pm Monday at St. Peter Church. Chicago (in the Loop). Liturgy of Resurrection will be 10 am Tuesday. Interment Queen of Heaven Cemetery.

[Jack Bartz comments:] In his own way, Tots was like the recently deceased baseball announcer Harry Caray. They were both one-of-a-kind people. When we first arrived at St. Joseph Seminary, Tots used to have us come to the music room where his office was also located in order to have our musical interview for the choir. We were required to go up and down some scales singing as close as we could to the notes. He would then put his hand over one's "diaphragm" and remark how good it was. I suppose some people could flunk the exam, but at least Tots found out what he wanted by then.

His cooking was also a scream. He would like to make things in the basement kitchen at St. Pete's and the pots and pans would pile up. Ingredients would also be scattered all over the place. He would frequently stick his fingers into the "pot" to savor the taste. This probably turned off some people, but that was his style -- very tactile. I don't know if the "cleanup" of the messiness of cooking would be considered sufficient to pass an inspection by the Board of Health.

He just loved life to the fullest possible. Especially the arts. There probably was not a single artistic event going on in Chicago that he had not attended over the many years of his assignments in Westmont and Chicago. You could see him headed out to some event morning, afternoon and evening -- all on the same day! He had some insatiable appetites.

He seemed to always wear his hair longer than most and he was incessantly trying to corral it to one side of his face. And the color could be multitudinous.

He liked to control whatever name a person had. For me, everyone would call me Jack, but for him it was either John or Johnny. That was his way of overcoming someone's nickname.

I guess he could play the piano fairly well. But he seemed to enjoy hearing others play, especially Chuck Faso during my years at St. Joe's. Chuck would play during the seminary choir practices and then the organ in chapel. I suppose each person he came into contact with has a story about how he would encourage people to enjoy music, one of the great loves of his life.

What stories of your own can you add about this unique Friar?

DUPAGE COUNTY Hearing planned on friary pact.

A DuPage County Forest Preserve Commission committee is scheduled to hold a hearing this week on the revocation of an agreement with a non-profit group.

The group, Atelier International, had wanted to establish a cultural arts education center in the St. Paschal's Friary building at the Mayslake Forest Preserve in Oak Brook.

Atelier International has requested the Operations Committee hearing to show that the group is capable of maintaining and operating the building and that the group can meet its responsibilities under the licensing agreement. The commission in January voted to terminate the 2-year-old agreement because Atelier allegedly failed to meet its responsibilities.

[Jack Bartz comments:] St. Paschal's has been a "white elephant" for a long time. One of the reasons the building cannot be used is that it must have a fire sprinkler system installed. But in order to get funds to pay for it, there have to be events open to the public that can raise the cash. A vicious circle.

22 Feb 1998 Mike Mooney phoned Jack Brennan: Mike reports that he had just returned from Joliet and visited with Medard Buvala for about three hours. He says that Medard looks better and seems healthier than he did in the 60's at T-Town. Mooney stated that Medard speaks with even more wisdom and compassion than in the old days. Mike assured me that, while he himself was prone to exaggeration, this was the real thing!

Mike has retired from his job at the hospital in Indianapolis and told me that "retirement is pure heaven." He is running, praying and reading daily; he is looking forward to climbing into his RV and heading North by Northwest this summer. So we expect a visit from him then.

The Blue Wave says that he has a bit of a concern about his heart since he felt some chest pressure after running a half-marathon recently. [Probably a little gas, Mike. JB.]

22 Feb 1998 John Behl called Jack Brennan within a half an hour of Mooney. Pure serendipity. I had not talked with either of them since our Silver Ordination reunion in 1991. JB John is retired too! He is working in his parish bringing back stray sheep and has used material from the DD to accomplish this.

John and Candy work on "this old house" so they can hurry up and relax when the house is ready for sale. John plans then to volunteer for Habitats for Humanity in the St. Louis area. He is sure putting his talents to use, even into his golden years! He credits being on the Carpenter Crew in the seminary for his skills in remodeling and building. He is especially grateful to Al Merz for helping him develop these competencies.

The Behls are pretty well satisfied about the way their children have turned out and are looking forward to grandchildren; Candy already has one, but John has none. John occasionally sees diaspora and friars at gatherings in St. Louis.

23 Feb 98 Paul Langan: Gael, I had just finished reading "His Holiness," when I wrote before. I was re-reminded of the totalitarian system, One line of thought was permitted to be expressed, 'Ratsingers', sic, John Paul. Before reading this book I have to admit I didn't even know who 'He' was. Thus, I found it refreshing to read differing opinions expressed in the current DD23., First Amendment, so to speak! I suppose I read too much airplane stuff, so it is good for me to read some other interesting thoughts. Thanks for sharing them!

23 Feb 1998 Maury Smith [Gael had wished him a good trip. "Where are you headed? Bring back a small smooth stone."]: Ben Eastman and I are going to Fort Worth to see his parents and friends. And then the next week Tom Shivers and I are going to Victoria and Bay City, Texas to visit the friars; in particular Br. Camillus.

As for stones, it is a Jewish practice to place a stone on the monument of your parents grave when you visit them. It is a sign of love and devotion to them. I have stones from various places in Israel and the Franciscan shrines in Italy to use. Peace brother.

24 Feb 98 Thomas P. Aldworth, O.F.M. (Gospel: Luke 6, 35-38) Homily for Tarsicius' Funeral, St. Peter's Church: [Note how the verses predate the peace prayer: "Love your enemies... Be compassionate just as your Father is compassionate. Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and there will be gifts for you: a full measure, pressed down, shaken together, and overflowing, will be poured into your lap..." - GS]

This morning I find myself swimming in a great sea of memory. Fr. Tarsicius Laverne Fischer was more than a brother to me-he fathered me in every way possible except one. It was 37 years ago I came to the high school seminary, a small skinny kid of 13, whose father had died two years previously. I was in need of fathering, and that is what Tarsicius did. He fathered me. He fathered me as he taught me music and song. He fathered me as he guided me through the terrors of the minor seminary. Tarsicius was a refuge of gentleness, a sanctuary of grace in the midst of an often hard and harsh seminary environment. Today I speak for all of us who were taught by him in his 18 years of seminary teaching.

And I also speak for all of us who were touched by him-especially here at St. Peter's where he labored over 30 years in a ministerial service of ultimate compassion and mercy.

I'd like to speak about his ministry as teacher, before I turn to his ministry as confessor. Tarsicius taught us how to reach, how to reach for notes, how to reach for more. And in that reaching he taught us the language of transcendence, the language of the soul's desire, the soul's hunger for God. In all those delightful yet demanding sessions around his piano, we learned how to approach the presence of God, how to long for the ineffable, how to hold a crescendo in our hearts.

A few years back there was a very popular essay and book by Robert Fulghum titled "All I Ever Really Needed To Know I Learned In Kindergarten." Well, my brothers and sisters, I never went to kindergarten. And the truth of my life is that all I ever really needed to know I learned around Tarsicius' piano.

The most crucial lesson in life is the lesson of community, the lesson of polyphony, the blending of many into one. We who were privileged to be taught by him learned that lesson from his strong but gentle hands.

Many of us experienced moments approaching ecstasy and rapture with our wide-open throats proclaiming Jubilate Deo, or Haec Dies, or Sing With Joy To The Lord. Tarsicius taught us much about the nature of ecstasy, the reality of rapture, which lies at the core of contemplation.

Many of us here this morning were privileged to attend concerts with Tarsicius. He loved everything, from the Chicago Symphony to a high school band. All of it was glorious to him. All the times he would grab my knee in the middle of a stunning section of music or a spectacular ballet scene or a memorable moment of Shakespeare. In those moments he was teaching me about surrendering to beauty, surrendering to transcendence, becoming vulnerable to rapture.

Tarsicius knew how here on earth we must taste transcendence, we must get waylaid by rapture-otherwise heaven will be too much to endure. In all those concerts Tarsicius was preparing himself, and the many of us who accompanied him, for what heaven must be.

I will miss him sitting next to me, teaching me how to hear, how to see, how to allow my heart to be pierced by beauty's lance. Tarsicius was a virtuoso of vulnerability. He was a master of mercy, a maestro of the mystery of surrender. Because of that virtuosity, because of that mastery, he was able to minister here at St. Peter's as a true instrument of peace and reconciliation. He never judged anyone - he merely allowed himself to be an overflowing vessel of compassion.

Good measure pressed down, shaken together, running over was poured from the fold of Tarsicius' habit. His heartfelt tenderness allowed so many to stand under the Niagara of God's forgiveness. The measure with which he measured was so immense, so magnanimous, that no one ever felt rejected. Tarsicius held in his heart, like wounded birds, all who were troubled, all who were in need of mercy. He held me through many turbulent and troubled times.

There are so many stories I wish I could share. But there is no time for them today -- stories which reflect his wonderful sense of humor, his joyfulness, his profound witness of fraternity.

I'd like to end with a few thoughts on his mastery of the mystery of surrender. Tarsicius was a man of intimate prayer, which I believe sprung from his own suffering, his own surrender. He understood Henri Nouwen's recognition that being useless and silent in the presence of God is the core of all prayer.

Tarsicius suffered these past few months since his stroke. In that suffering, his soul began to shine through his flesh. He became translucent, like fine, delicate porcelain. And the transformation of Tarsicius became complete. In his final weeks, he lived out the words of Simone Weil, the mystic of longing. She wrote the following: "We cannot take a single step toward heaven. It is not in our power to travel in a vertical direction. If, however, we look heavenward for a long time, God comes and takes us up." And so God did to our father, to our brother Tarsicius. The measure he measured with has been measured back to him. He now adds his voice to the celestial symphony chorus.

On behalf of this church, on behalf of all of us who serve here, I offer our deepest condolences to his sister Vernida, to his nephew Gregory, to his cousins Lucy, Margery, Peter, Ethel and Lucille. You gave us a great gift, your gift to us of Laverne.

He vested me at my ordination, placing on me the vestments of a priest. I say today that without this man in my life I would not be in this pulpit, nor in any other. Father Tarsicius Laverne Fischer was and is an unforgettable sacred song.

25 Feb 1998 Mel Mizicko: finally wrote after some gentle peckerwood importuning (read that as out-and-out hassle): There is no reason that explains my years of silence. I was listening to everything on the receiving end, but did not participate in the conversation. I don't understand it myself. There is no message there other than about my strangeness.

Thanks so much for writing the notes on the remailing of the digest - as well as the words thrown in your e-mails appealing to me to come out of the closet.

I really, really, really want you to stop and see me when you are in the area. I want you to stay at our house if you can. A lot of filling in is in order. A lot of it embarrassing, such as my semi-annual trips to Nashville, at times even with maps to Needmore, that never turned into a visit. My daughter Dawn attends Vanderbilt.

This is the ice breaker. Write me back, or call me (708-386-0948) about the visit. I will put together an update to the class and send it out in the next few days. Thanks again and please come visit us. [The update arrived too late, but we had glorious visits at his house and ours. - GS]

27 Feb 98 Zangs: You asked if Jim was reading JJ Lakers book. Yes I am, But I am just getting into it. It is heavy and I am not sure how much I am getting, but I enjoy the challenge of tying to understand him. That's the same way I felt when I had him in class. Maybe I'm just trying to relive my youth.

Also, still working on the job search. You called it the "October job." I'd like to think it is more late August or early July. You know if they were to recreate social security now as they did under FDR (using the same formula to establish eligibility), the eligibility age would be 73 instead of 65 because people are living longer. More time to be productive. Right?

27 Feb 97 John Miller [Gael had sent out the story about the elephant that was in the home but no one would talk about it, pretended not to notice it. Ann Landers ran it once.]: This is quite a compelling poem, and reveals the power of sharing your feelings. Too often, we isolate ourselves and are immersed and overwhelmed by our own feelings and pain. We also pretend that we really don't feel, or feel that way, which feeds the elephant. The healing effects of sharing your feelings and your life experience can be quite miraculous and free you to begin again. I know I need those kinds of reminders, even though I work in the mental health profession. I understand that this poem is sometimes used with families of substance abusers.

If Jesus did anything miraculous, it was in the way he touched the lives of the people he met and unburdened them from their pain, not make them feel guilty or more ashamed. He talked about the "elephant" in everyone, and that made all the self-appointed, self-righteous very uncomfortable. The prostitute, tax collector, and whoever came to request his healing, sincerely, received it, and he loved even those who rejected him. That is, to me, the essence and difference from the "old teachings," and the real miracle of being shown how to live a developmental life. Every major religious leader and founder knew this and taught this. The rest is mostly man-created, Churchly trivia and institutional, unimaginative clap-trap, that concretized the symbols and real meaning of leading a spiritual life.

I claim to have no corner on truth and reality, but my path of following whatever "Holy Mother Church's" official line of the moment is, is long past. I condemn no one if that is what they find helps them develop as a human being. Too often, though, it is used as a crutch for the self-righteous, who don't want to think for themselves or take any personal responsibility. I'm not just talking about Catholics, but all organized, institutional religions ... and as you say, "es war immer so gewesen." I have never accepted the latter though, and perhaps that's my blindness, naivete, and idealism showing too much. - HH

1 March 98 Dan Mazar: I am saddened to write another memoriam mortuus. Fr. Tarsicius died Feb. 20. He was waked on Feb. 23 and buried Feb. 24. The services were at St. Peter's in Chicago. He had taken ill in early November, lingered in the hospital, and finally in a nursing home. At his death, he had shrivelled to a tiny 80 or 90 pounds. He did not want to eat and had lost his speech for all practical purposes.

I visited him the Sunday before he died and he was having a rough time. I'm not sure how great his pain was but he was ready to cash in. I was able to lift his spirits some what by reviewing the opera season for him. I think he found it humorous that one of the more notorious jocks was getting "culture" and was able to inform him of the goings on in the art world. I also threatened to chant the "Dies Irae" over him. That really made him sit up.

The wake service allowed folks to share memories of Tars and his eccentricities. We had great laughs and better war stories. Someone wanted to go to the casket and mess his hair for it was combed most neatly. Hard to remember Tars with neat hair [more like that of a shaggy maestro, no? - GS]. He usually looked like he had just stuck his finger in a socket.

The funeral was done with dignity and majesty. I was privileged to do the first reading from the "Book of Sirach," 44:1-15. Most appropriate (all you Old Testament guys better be scurrying to the passage.) ["Next let us prowess illustrious men... the assembly will celebrate their praises."] Tom Aldworth preached an excellent, personal, honest, and joyous homily. Tars, I'm sure was enjoying the fuss. We sang the "Ultima" at the grave and didn't drag it too badly. Surprisingly, we found "A" the right pitch and held on.

Tars moved from teacher to friend in my life. He waited for me after puberty and gently taught me about me about the arts. He helped me become less of a Philistine and more cosmopolitan. He showed me that it was OK to be entranced by the arts and allow that to be made manifest. He was the key that turned the lock and opened new worlds to me.

Even more profoundly, he showed me how positive were the unassuming virtues of gentleness and sweetness. He was comfortable with himself and taught that "at easeness" by his living. He was able to turn his quirks into a wonderful fractal geometry. He was naive to a fault and trusted too easily. That was an essential part of his charm.

So, instead of the "Dies Irae," let me intone the "In paradisum deducant te angeli" for Tars. Whoever is singing that for Tars had better keep it moving along, Mercy, Mercy!! [I won't pen another appreciation, but Tars created a love for classical music in me, Mooney shared his, furthered it. The maestro is dead, long live the maestro. - GS]

4 Mar 98 John Miller (HH): Jim (Hank) Pfeifer is finally on-line. I had written him by snail-mail about some real estate in Montana and coming out to check. To my surprise, I found this response. He had written around Christmas time that one of his resolutions was to get on-line. He did it.

4 Mar 98 Jim (Hank) Pfeifer: [To John Miller. Hank's email: jlpfeifer of in-tch.com ] I'm not the old hand at using the Internet that you are. As I read the Diaspora I see that you do spend a lot of time on the keyboard. But then you always had more to say than I did.

I have your letter in my desk at work so can't answer you completely. I do remember that you mentioned a possible return trip this way again this year. I am doubly surprised. When you left last year the weather was so shitty I figured it would take some time to forget. Secondly, you assured us it would be a while. By the way, the very afternoon you departed the weather took a delighted turn for the good and was up to 80 the next day.

Make your plans to come this way and include staying with us as long as you can. I have no real estate ins around the State but you did pick some of the more pricey spots to do your shopping. I know one or two local agents we can easily talk to when you get here. Or I can do some leg work before if you give me more specific preferences.

Don't come this week. The weather is the shits again. Had a dry and nice Feb. but it has been snowing for two days now and we seem to be getting the winter we never had. We were up at the cabin last weekend. Perfect conditions then. Temp right around 30 snow perfect for cross country skiing.

Hope all is well with you. Don't be too surprised if I don't answer your messages promptly. It may be days before I get back to this machine. Keep in touch.

7-8 Mar 98 Gael visited classmate Melory Mizicko at his home in Oak Park: We went over his mother's photo albums of friar interest. Great time meeting his children. His wife Anna, a nurse, was at work both days.

13 Mar 98 Joe Smith: sent a copy of "a brilliant pontifical spoof." No mention of where it was published. The two-page spoof has a photo of JPII giving a blessing with a cutline: "Above: Pope John Paul II greets well-wishers following Monday's condemnation of the 'sinful, hormone-secreting' adrenal, pineal, and pituitary glands."

The headline: Pope Condemns Three More Glands The story: VATICAN CITY -- In the sternest papal edict against the endocrine system in over 150 years, Pope John Paul II added the adrenal, pineal, and pituitary to the Catholic Church's list of condemned glands Monday, decrying them as "sinful hormone producers which encourage and incite the human body to commit all manner of unholy acts."

The edict raised the total number of condemned glands to 25.

"It has come to my attention that the adrenal, pineal, and pituitary glands perform a great many immoral functions that God could have never foreseen nor intended when He created the human body," the Pope said. Et cetera.

25 March 98 John and Candy Behl visited Susan and Gael: On their way to see their daughter in Florida, we found time to share a meal at the Gerst Haus and a really fun two hours at Tootsies. It was John's fourth time to go to Tootsie's with Gael. Jack Brennan reported on their church activity already. They are planning to sell their big house, try to buy a smaller one in the Kirkwood area, and build on their land near Trowbridge.

26 Mar 98 John Miller: [Gael had told him he'd read John Kennedy Toole's Confederacy of Dunces again and found it an American classic belonging in the top 100 best ever.]: As to Toole, his characters are bizarre, to say the least -- send in the clowns type, but sad as well. Perhaps, we're all that way, struggling for our meager piece/peace of existence. If you're enmeshed in the struggle, you may perhaps miss the humor of life. But humor is also a cover, as our suicidal comedics graphically reveal. Attaining a certain peace of mind, understanding and accepting the role one plays, and becoming aware of the patterns has become more important to me.

A book I just got through reading is DRUIDS, by Morgan Llywelyn. I found it quite fascinating, and consider it a sort of historical fiction. It confirms that Roman culture basically perverted any kind of spirituality, with a practical, methodical, Borg-like mindset, that is pervasive in Western civilization. It was a worthy read, and I can see how Christianity became perverted by this Roman mind-set.

1 April 98 GK's Senior Friars Talk: The April issue has another good letter from our former Old Testament professor Silas Musholt. He's still in Jerusalem avoiding terrorists and threats of bombs from Iraq when not guiding pilgrim groups to the sacred sites. On Palm Sunday, he was to sing the "Christus" part of the Passion inside the Holy Sepulchre and join the procession from Mount Olives through Kedron Valley into Jerusalem. On Good Friday, he was to sing the Christus part on Calvary itself. It's his sixth year doing it. -- Also in the SFT were obits for Dunstan Velesz, born 1909, Ignatius Eckelkamp, born 1927, and Ralph Sherrer, born 1915. Ralph was pastor of T-Town in 1966 when he opened the old Novitiate to the public - the year our class was ordained. - The March issue noted the deaths of Cloud Billig (b. 1912), Charles Reuter (b. 1922), and Cifra Berchmans (b. 1923).

10 April 98 Frank Smith: Notice my new address (Beaver Dam, Wisconsin, Care Center). From 1951 until 1963 I was Bro. Job Schulgen. I have fond memories of Mayslake, St. Joe's Seminary, St. Paschal's Brothers School, T-Town, and OLA. I now have a progressive neurological disorder. What is the meaning of diaspora? [It refers to the friars dispersed, no longer active around the province in clerical positions.]

12 Apr Julian Woods: [Responding to my invitation to attend Conveniat 98 in Spokane. JB] Many thanks for your letter. That's mighty generous of you to invite all of us to your place. I wish I could accept your offer.

As you know, I live in the same town with Gael Stahl and Susan, who puts out this Diaspora. Gael simply talks to me on the phone. He puts in the latest news about me. I see you are up to date - including my new wife's name: Winifred.

I just heard from one of my few living classmates, Fr. Jason Kommer, O.F.M. I had written to him when I learned that he was no longer at the parish where he was pastor for 17 years. He wrote back to tell me that a clique in the parish made up lies about him. His bishop did not back him up. So Jason resigned. He presently lives with another classmate, Fr. Medard Buvala at St. John's in Joliet. Jason said that Fr. Medard told him about what was in the Diaspora about me. Jason said he is sad for me. I wrote back to ask him what he is sad about??

He must be under the impression that I left the Church. Actually, I enjoy being active in my parish. Father Breen, the pastor, is the finest priest and pastor I have ever known. Just this Holy Saturday, he baptized 15 people and had Confirmation for a total of 50 people. They all just finished the RCIA program. Besides, there are converts coming to the parish every week during the year. We all know how rare that is.

After my dear wife, Pat, died after 7 years with Alzheimer's, I wrote (two letters) to our Bishop Kimec asking to discuss the possibility of being re-instated. Over two months went by - no answer.

Meanwhile, I started to baby-sit this two-year-old girl whose mother is black. I was just doing this as a favor while she was working (midnight to 8 AM). I'm crazy about all children. I've always felt strongly about the crime of allowing children to starve - and other crimes of abandoning women after making them pregnant.

I gradually learned more about the girl's mother - an illegal immigrant from Sierra Leone in West Africa. She had married an American who completely disappeared of the birth of this girl. This lady was in horrible debt. All these circumstances combined to my getting acquainted and more interested in helping. Finally, Winifred was able to get a divorce "in absentia."

I talked this over thoroughly with Fr. Breen - then made my decision and we were married by a judge in court in Nashville.

I refused to go through the canonical process of "annulment." I simply did not believe in it. Also, I'm convinced like the rest of us that the condition of celibacy is simply wrong. Finally, it was an opportunity to make a statement against racial prejudice.

To be honest, it has not been easy. There are hundreds of differences between Winifred and me. However, I am happy to be in a position of learning and of adapting to an unselfish life. Never too old to learn.

Best wishes to Gayle. Thanks again for your invitation.

12 April 98 Susan and Gael spent Easter with the Mooneys and Anton Braun in Indianapolis. Such loving went on. Anton is finally on-line, Mike has a computer so someday... On Good Friday we visited Anton at his home then went over to Mike and Judy's for a great turkey dinner with cranberry sauce, peas, salad, sweet potatoes. Anton and his neat friend Jan joined us for Holy Saturday dinner. We were the guests of young Mike. On Easter, the Mooneys hosted a liturgy at noon on their deck overlooking the river. Sarah and Rebekah, my god daughter, who drove over from Ball State, also joined us.

Judy and Mike told of their visit to Medard on Feb. 27 and had a great time. Med hasn't changed a bit. They proved it -- showed us photos they took.

14 Apr 98 Jack Bartz: sent death notice for Roy C. Spoonhour, father of Lou Spoonhour (1962) from the Chicago Tribune. Also, an editorial from The Hinsdale Doings, April 10, calling for a new use to be found for the Mayslake property now that the arts center idea failed due to expense of installing sprinklers. The writer suggested an educational use: it has laboratory areas, classroom-sized spaces, rooms that would be ideal for offices and even a central eating area. Perhaps it could be a satellite outpost for a college.

14 Apr 98 Kay Skonieczny: Happy Easter, Gael and Susan, Sounds like your Easter was wonderful. My Lent and Easter has been full of profound emotional experiences. Many people grace and bless my life with thoughtfulness. I participated with a group of women at St. Francis who performed a dramatic presentation of the book, The Magdalene Gospels written by Mary Ellen Ashcroft. The subtitle is What if women had written the Gospels? The setting is Good Friday when the "women" who stood beneath the cross gather together in Martha and Mary's home to share their stories of who they are and how Jesus touched their lives. We each chose a woman we felt some kinship with and then wrote our own script. The story we told was to include part of our own story. I was Mary of Martha and Mary. We met together all during Lent sharing our own stories, writing our scripts and then working out how we would do it dramatically. We had our performance at 6pm on Good Friday in the sanctuary. It was a most moving, powerful experience. The group of women who had done it last year met with us an hour before the event. They took turns anointing each one of us with a mixture of ancient oils and blessing us. I felt like time stood still and the power of women's spirits of the ages was with us. The group of women plans to continue to meet from time to time. I am looking forward to how the Spirit will work in this group of strong, vulnerable spiritual companions.

Amy and Molly came for the weekend so they were here for the Friday presentation. We had a good time together as we always do and laced, of course, with our happy but still painful memories of our dear Ben. As Amy said, we have a huge hole in our lives but we continue to move forward and enjoy the blessings and joys that come our way through so many wonderful gifts and people.

Amy and I are going to Mexico mid July for 10 days. It's a program called Goddess GATE (Global Awareness Through Experience) where we will be with a group of about 40 people visiting sacred sites, learning how ancient cultures viewed the cosmos and spirituality and interacting with women from base Christian communities who are involved in clinics, alternative health, etc. Anyway, we are pretty excited about it. Rosemary Radford Ruether is a part of the team leading the program. - I send my greetings and love to you and to all who are connected through the digest.

16 April 98 Mary Zangs: Every time I read a book by Sharyn McCrumb I think of you guys (Susan and Gael). So thought I'd send one. If and when you get sick of reading philosophy, you can take a break with a little light mystery. Hope all is good with both of you. [We love her, but had not seen that book. Thanks.]

21 Apr 1998 Dick Korn: First of all, Madeleine and I have been concerned about the safety of those of you in the eastern suburbs of Nashville after last weekend's tornado. I've also been hoping that the friars and the others that I know in that part of TN are OK.

We are fine. Madeleine has recently been named chair of the Standing Commission on Anglican and International Peace with Justice of the Episcopal Church and foresees long, fruitful hours of coordination and travel in that capacity. Besides our regular jobs in administration and teaching, I will also spend three hours each of the next nine weeks participating in the Columbus Citizen Police Academy to better understand local law enforcement and its relationships with the citizens.

In August we hope to visit the Amazon and Rio. Mike Kellett was with us in January to prime us on some of the conditions and events along the Amazon and the Tapajos. Later this week I hope to speak with Greg Joeright, the current vicar provincial of the Vice-province of Sao Benedito, when he briefly comes to the Cleveland area. I outline the following itinerary in the hopes that some of the friars in the Santarem environs and others here mentioned may contact us and/or be able to help with a few steps on our journey.

We plan on going via Manaus where Mike Kellett and Frank Probst are living with Brazilian student friars. From there, in late July, we want to be with Paul Zoderer and/or Maury Hawickhorst at the patronal feast of Sant Ana in Itaituba. After a boat ride down to Santarem we will see old haunts in which I lived and worked there. Edilson and the friars will hopefully help us over a hurdle or two. I'd like to ask Jim Tye and Bob Link if they could contact us about places to stay and ways of cutting costs in the Santarem. Friends in Belem are in place for a stay at the mouth of the Amazon but a contact person or two in Rio would be appreciated since I'm unable to locate my buddy Genesio (Leonardo) Boff in the Cidade Maravilhosa. Any other Diaspora readers out there who can offer insights into ways to do this kind of a trip? If it goes well, I'll be glad to guide others in future years.

24 Apr 97 (sic) Arnie (Ted) Wieser: (I found this letter recently, and while I thought it had already been printed in a DD, I can find no evidence that it was.-GS) Arnie says: For a long time I have wanted to share the following info with our Franciscan family concerning our former fellow member, Ed Gaia. Until recently I had decided to edit quite severely the article about him in the Kingman Daily Miner, his local "Scandal Sheet." However, after finally finishing perusing the last DD (all 65 pages thereof). [That was an earlier DD, #21.] I concluded that the parameters for writing now lie somewhere between nothing and infinity.

I had the privilege, with Mary, of being asked to attend Ed's wake and funeral in Kingman, Arizona. This invitation was the result of the close relationship established between Ed and Rose and their three daughters and "Father Ted" during my 1960's sojourn in Memphis, Ed's home at the time.

Sorry, Joe Smith, but your wonderful daughters no longer could claim sole possession of my lap, since Ed's daughters also claimed that territory. (Just a passing thought: Can today's clergy feel relaxed in having little girls -- or boys -- sitting on their laps in today's world?!) I must add that I baptized Ed's youngest daughter in a Diocesan parish in Memphis. I mention this because somehow the entry was not made in the Parish records. Imagine my surprise (and consternation!) when I was requested to certify some 25 or so years later that I actually poured that saving water.

But back to my purpose in writing. HEADLINE: Ed Gaia -- one who cared -- dies at age of 70. Kingman lost one of its most well-known residents Monday, but Ed Gaia himself would tell you -- he's in a better place. An ordained Deacon, he spent almost every day the last ten years operating the St. Vincent de Paul thrift store. In 1992 he received the Hon Kachina Award sponsored by Phoenix's Channel 12 for those who have a definite impact on their community and make personal sacrifices. ... Despite their different philosophies (can't you hear Ed "discussing" even now!!) Father Falance of St. Theresa's Orthodox Catholic Church and Gaia became close friends. "...He had one of the biggest hearts in this world." He hoped to one day open a soup kitchen. "Is recognition what I'm working for? No way!" said Gaia. He hoped to receive a better reward once he passed away. ... He died on May 8, 1995 in Kingman, Arizona. (End of article.)

I now feel honored to know he was my friend. I must admit I did not perceive these traits during our association during Minor Sem, Novitiate and Philosophy years. Did anyone spot this side of talkative Frater Peter? Could we be so bold as to borrow a quote from a very important Person of the Bible and say, "Tu es Petrus, et super hanc..." I'll never forget my last communication from Pete (Ed). He was the last of the five (I think) classmates we lost at OLA -- one-third of our bunch went just like that. I was given the "Pleasure" of picking up a few things left in his cell (I had to use that word at least once). On his desk was a brief note to the class remnants: The Ax has fallen for the last time!

Requiescat in pace in aeternum. I'm closing now to reminisce just a bit longer... - Arnie (Ted) Wieser

29 April 98 Mel Mizicko: and his daughter Dawn joined us for lasagna at Peckerwood and stayed the night. Mel, the scamp, hadn't told me that Dawn had been going to Vanderbilt for the last three years. So when he came to help her put her stuff in storage and drive her back home, he took the occasion to visit. We talked until very late even though they had to get up very early to leave and get the rented van back to Chicago by late afternoon. He never wrote to say if they made it. But he did treat me to a great steak and eggs breakfast at Waffle House before they headed north on Friday morning. - It was a treat getting together again. And getting to meet and talk so long to Dawn. All of Mel's kids seem to be as bright as he is.

29 April 98 Mel Griffith: called and told Gael about his 8-day trip to Medjugorje. He had great chats with Phil Pavich. He lined up behind three others at Phil's confession box and observed that each one stayed a half hour. He got to Phil in 90 minutes. Phil's a very popular confessor. The word is that "he can read your soul" so he hears long hours, sometimes all night. He's a charismatic.

Phil wants to be added to the diaspora list. Address: St. James Church, 88266 Medjugorje, HB Herzegovina, Bosnia via Split. Phone: 011-387-88651-333, fax 011-387-88651-444. Email: philpav of aol.com

Mel mentioned some Amsterdam lectures. He may have met Phil there. He said that the 68-year-old former assistant novice master of our 1959-60 class has a desire to go to the Holy Land if he ever leaves Bosnia.

2 May 98 Maury Smith: 40 years a Franciscan, 32 years a priest announces a sabbatical year. He will be spending the year at the Mexican American Cultural Center in San Antonio, Texas, to learn Spanish.

3 May 98 Keith Eckrich: My mother, Florence E. Patchin, made her passage to eternal life April 30, three days after her 85th birthday. Her old age weakness forced her to leave her apartment for a retirement home in May of '97 but she soon had to enter a nursing home after multiple falls. About a month ago she weakened appreciably, stopped going to bingo and dining room and left her food trays essentially untouched. We believe she may have had small strokes which incapacitated her swallowing ability and on April 29 she was hospitalized for pneumonia, dehydration and anemia. Her lifelong prayer to die peacefully in her sleep was answered when she slipped from her coma into her life of rest with the saints. By a communication malfunction the local priest had not arrived as she was seriously weakening and so I was blessed with the opportunity to anoint her. The priest finally arrived, 40 minutes prior to her death as it turned out, and he seemed so embarrassed that we didn't have the heart to tell him about the previous anointing. "Grandma" went home twice blessed. I conducted her grave side service with family and close friends. She is buried at Our Lady Gate of Heaven cemetery here in Albuquerque. Her beloved granddaughter, Kristen, who had spent countless hours with her, in the beginning with grandma taking care of Kristen and in the end Kristen keeping an eye on grandma, made and placed on the her coffin a small bouquet of lilacs gathered in the backyard. It was Kristen's first death experience, and she handled it well.

Classmates, especially Anton Braun, might recall the homemade chocolate chip cookies mom used to mail to us at Mayslake: slow postal service resulted in a certain hardening of those delectibles and Tony dubbed them as those "wonderful toll road cookies." I would appreciate your printing this notice for those who knew my mother. Peace.

3 May 98 Gael Stahl to Keith: My heart is with you. I remember your Mom well from a visit with you. How she used to touch up black/white photos, make them look colored or tinted. She was a fine woman, a good mom, and friend. Thanks for writing. - I close friend of mine died of hepatitis/cirrhosis of the liver/alcoholism today also. He was about 49. - Your mother had the better part of life. She was a gem. [AMEN. JB]

18 May 98 Bro. Jack Hardesty: We just had graduation this week-end [Quincy University] so things have been a little hectic here. We had the ceremony in the athletic field next to the friary under the big top -- a 3-mast tent -- which was erected for the occasion. Perfect weather.

18 May 1998 Wayne Nagel: So glad to find you again. Got your email address from Solano Flores. Would like very much to be on the Diaspora mailing list. Life is good for me, unlike the days at Corpus Christi. Data: 561-335-0712, , 2625 SE Carthage Rd., Port St. Lucie, FL 34952, fax: 561-335-0351

I have just recently relocated to South Florida from the Chicago area. A major change to say the least. After spending my first winter in my life totally away from the cold, wild horses couldn't drag me back!

Have a lovely home on a half acre up against a nature preserve. PSL is less congested than a lot of Fla towns, but convenient to everything. Just North of Palm Beach where I teach Nursing at the community college. Just finished, gratefully, my first year there. Am in a tenure track helping to develop a new curriculum. A Challenge.

Am taking the summer for me to enjoy Fla and get settled. Still have pictures to hang and stuff to stuff. Living without a basement is a challenge. My son's children, 8 & 5 (Zak & Ali) will be here for two weeks so I get to do the fun things like go to Disney world. Am planing a 4 day cruise to the Caribbean sometime this summer, not yet worked out.

I was at Corps in the mid 60's. You are right about everything else you remember, the room, the wing etc. Adrian Fisher , Leo Geurts are my classmates. Don't think there are too many left.

I do stay in touch with Solano and Dan and David Rodriques and occasionally when I get black wire fever, call people like Ansgar and Howie Classen. I believe the spirit of Francis was much stronger than the organization. It's good to be in contact. Tell me about you!! [I'll do that by email. The others have heard it. By the way, we are the organization too. - GS] Looking forward to hearing from you.

20 May 98 Jack Brennan: Talked with Jerry Klein tonight. We talked about everything from Kierkegaard to the last time he said Mass. He has been married for three years and seems happy with his new wife,Theresa. We had some good laughs. He said that he really is trying to find a way to come to the conveniat, find the time and money. Let us move heaven and earth and his heart so he'll see that this is a good thing that will nudge him onto a higher plane of metaphysical union.

20 May 98 Kay Skonieczny: Thanks for keeping in touch. My Mexico trip is from July 17 to the 27th. So I am sorry that I will not make the Spokane reunion. But, I do appreciate being included and would definitely have come if this trip wasn't already planned. I am very much looking forward to the trip and to spending time with Amy. I'll let you know how it was when I return.

21 May 98 Kay Skonieczny: I will look forward to the article you are sending. ["God is more than two men and a bird." JB] I've also just got a copy of Sr. Joan Chittister's new book, "Heart of Flesh". Her theme is the spirit of the feminine for both men, women and the world -- it is wonderful! Gives me hope for the new century.

You honor me and Ben by asking me to write something to be included. Yes, Ben's wonderful spirit is now more a part of me than ever. What a gift to have shared his life and vibrant spirit so intimately. I will write something -- not sure when ... but will get it to you before the reunion. If you ever get down to this area or the bay area, please let me know. I would love to see you.

A favorite quote of mine from Joan Chittister that I read often -- "Tears give life to the grief of endings, give them dignity and give them honor. What was, was good. What is to come is mystery."

24 May 1998 John Miller: We're going back to Montana (late June), Bozeman and west of there, to look at land to buy for our retirement, which I hope is not far away. A mountain retreat sounds good to me, after being around Chicago for 31 years. Sandy was born here and feels the same. We plan to buy some acreage, and build when we are about ready to go. Other than that, have been busy winding up the school year. There is still much to do, reports to write, etc., but I'm ready for being away from it for a bit and just lead the country life. Best to you and yours. Have you heard from Diz Sexton? [Yes. His 17-year-old daughter Pascale wife Catherine and Susan will go to the mountains of east Tennessee and to New Orleans. GS]

Unpaid Advertisement: Jack Brennan: We -- Gayle (my wife) and I and Gayle's father -- own a

CABIN ON THE BEAUTIFUL PEND OREILLE RIVER ABOUT 75 MILES FROM SPOKANE. WE INVITE YOU, YOUR FAMILIES AND FRIENDS TO JOIN US THERE THIS SUMMER FOR A FRANCISCAN GALA, JULY 17TH (FRIDAY) THROUGH JULY 21ST (TUESDAY).

There is lots of room and bunk beds in the cabin as well as 10 acres of camping space surrounding the cabin. And there are a number of motels within 8 miles. (Easy driving.)

Don't worry about renting cars. I live fewer than ten minutes from the airport terminal, the train station and the bus depot.

So far, the following are coming: Nick Baxter, John Behl, Bill Bergman, Jack Brennan, Pat Evard, Ray Konrath, Scot Kuhle, Paul Langan, Carroll Mizicko, Mike Mooney, Ron Pfeiffer, Chris Reuter and Gael Stahl. Jerry Klein is on the verge of committing. Pat Evard thinks he can drive over. And it's not too late for you to sign on. Call me if you are interested: Home: (509) 838-1322; Work: (509) 455-7654, Ext. 52.